I wonder if my staycation at Duke Divinity School has found me here? In a space where ALL that I cannot say has left me with entirely too much work for my mind to flex through because Lord KNOWS I cannot flex my mouF like I wanna!!! And Lord KNOWS I wanna!
But I don’t.
I stay in my lane.
I’m not a fan of hushing. There is almost always waaaaaaaayyyyyy too much to say (and too much NOT to!), yet… silence–more often than not–is the best option. I cringe because of that. I cringe when I’m biting my tongue.
And any time that I am not talking…
I’m probably biting my tongue.
Cringing.
Because of all that I cannot say.
Considering all that I DO say, it’s a wonder that I’ve got anything left.
Unsaid.
In my personal time, I really don’t talk much at all.
And at the same time, I often talk because I feel that I have to. lol And that’s shameful.
And maybe it’s a LIE!
I haven’t decided yet! lol
Anywho, my new class is sure to help me sort through some major ANNOYANCES in my being. Our contexts puts me face to face with my most uncomfortable discomforts and begs that I use my voice to communicate the truths within my mind. There are facts up there… THOUGHTS up there worth expressing, yet because my mind is duly angry, my mouth can’t yet do her part to shut IT up being letting IT out.
I wonder…
I wonder if all I have to say will bring me peace in mind someday soon. Honestly, I now sit and wonder when my peace was taken away from me in the first place…
right up under nose…
Where my mouth lies.