Immediately upon hearing news of George Floyd’s murder, I felt myself holding my breath. It wasn’t until a week or so later–when I read the Medium article of a Duke Divinity School colleague–that I was able to exhale (just a little) for the first time… IN WEEKS
If I am honest, my opening to this has been colored by a number of things. Namely, my own blackness. In white spaces, I think too much for “the colored” people. I think of us *as* coloured people. I do too much in my mind to correct for what I think is the bias of other races while altogether realizing it is my own bias at fault here. I am not here removing the external biases that do exist, yet I am stating the fact that it is hard enough to live while black without adding the over-correction (or over-calculation) that I feel the need to do because of my race.
It matters not what I want to do. What’s utterly important is what God IS doing. And trust me… I STILL have a laundry list of ‘I-don’t-wannas…’, but that doesn’t stop God from moving and it doesn’t stop me from serving.
One aspect of this opportunity is the request to submit a journal entry to the school regarding my experiences each week. I’ll be sharing those via this blog as well. If I censor portions, I’ll let you know, but I plan to share with you my full truths. Enjoy that! I can’t always share, and won’t always be allowed to. Ask whatever questions you have as a result. Here goes…
At every juncture, life will ask you a prime… premium question: How Bad Do You Want It? Every minute of every day with every action, every response, every consideration, you answer the question. You tell life what to do for you and how to do it. You tell life if you’re ready or if you’re faking. You tell life if you’ll fight or if you’ll flee. You tell life what type of GLADIATOR you are…
I visited the Smallest Church in America. I thought this very appropriate considering the journey I am on. Making sense of it all means honoring the expectations of my first church… myself. I must embody fruitful righteousness with(in) me prior to extending that goal and lifestyle to others.
I moved to a space in life where I must find benefit in the casual things… in the breath-taking, time-extending benefits of the journey that God has placed me on.
Today’s church has a need for placement whereas today’s world has a need for access. We limit access when all who are welcomed are not called and all who are called are not welcomed. In God’s great scheme of things, what’s the difference? What’s most important?
I am here. FInally. Finally, in a place, I’ve always wanted to be.
Finally, in a place, I’ve longed for over many years. Finally. I am Here. Where God called me to be.
